Saturday, 12 May 2012

The End of Sterilisation...

Since Eli turned one on Sunday it's time for me to keep my end of a bargain I struck a long time ago with my Other Half.  To stop sterilisng Eli's bottles.

I know I'm being un-necessarily precious about the whole thing.  Especially as it's a total waste of time.  I think being a second child automatically means you are going to be dirtier, and eat/be fed things you shouldn't from the word go.  I think E was two months old when he had his first taste of toast - and that's only what I know about - Meg has always been very good at 'sharing' food with Eli!

The thing is, it marks the end of Eli being a baby.  He's over one, he's on the move, soon he'll be walking and then he'll officially be a 'toddler' and not a baby. And that makes me sad.

I don't even get to do the whole ritual of 'packing away' the steriliser as we switched to self-sterilising bottles so all we're really cutting out is the three minutes they sit in the microwave for.  I think that makes it worse.  It's just done, over, finished.

Or maybe that's me being dramatic (hard to believe, I know). 

I was upset at the thought of getting rid of all the neutral nursery stuff and it has formed the centre of a good many arguments heated discussions between myself and my Other Half as we technically have no where to store it.  But you never know do you?  I can't bring myself to get rid of it 'just in case' we decide we do want another baby. 

But, the simple fact that Eli might be my last baby means I want to cling to every possible moment.  Even if that means pretending he still needs his bottles sterilising.  

It must be a mad hormonal mother thing...if I was listening to someone else talk like this I'd be thinking "get a grip woman they're just bottles."

And I also know how much I've enjoyed Meg being a toddler and I'm going to love going through that stage with Eli as well.  So I'm completely torn between not wanting to lose my baby and wanting to see E move into the brilliant toddler stage.

My big boy!
 I certainly don't want to become one of those mummies who 'babies' their child when they are clearly no longer a baby.  

However, I have definitely been softer with E than I ever was with Meg.  We had quite certain and strong opinions about how we were going to raise Meg and I've let a lot of that slip with E.  Mostly because he's 'my baby boy.'

He has these huge beautiful blue eyes that just melt my heart when he looks at me, even when he's doing something he shouldn't be!!

It would be interesting to know if other mummies have felt the same way about their last babies and how they dealt with letting go of their baby whilst still (secretly) keeping them as their baby!

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