Tuesday, 8 July 2014

Missing Good Friends...

One thing that we didn't really appreciate when we made the decision to move 100 miles away from the place we had spent 6 years of our lives was the loss of good friends. 

I don't think it sunk in until that first weekend; when we realised with a stomach drop that there would be no knock at the door from our dear friends who would come round each Sunday evening and slouch in front of the TV or play board games, eat some food and generally just hang out and allow us to feel like ourselves again, not like parents of young children who never get to leave the house without weeks of forward planning.

There was no-one to call at a moments notice and see whether they wanted to go for a picnic because the weather was nice, or check out a local park 'just because'.  It is actually one of the things I have been the saddest about since we left in January.

For me, making friends is difficult.  I don't do it easily and as my Other Half works long hours, the socialising and the building of relationships generally falls to me.  Which is a shame as he really is better at it than I am!  

It's disheartening that people don't realise that just because I'm quiet, doesn't mean I don't have things to say, don't want to be heard, don't want to be invited out and to be a friend (just for the record, I'm a jolly good friend!)

Plus, I do think I have started to make friends (maybe, eek!) although just last week I had a mini pity-party, crying on my Other Half's shoulder at the fear that I am merely tolerated rather than actively included but still...I know these things take time and I must keep trying!

But, I digress.  A couple of weekends ago we headed back down to the Land of the Lost and attended a wedding.  It was nice not only to be able to dress up and get the kids looking all dapper but also presented a really great opportunity to catch up with some much missed friends.  Due to other commitments it was only a flying visit but that just made the time all the more precious.

Good friends are those you can just pick up with, wherever you left off.  It's as though no time has passed between you and everything is as simple and as fun as it was the last time you were chatting over a glass of wine and some good food.


It was refreshing to have that and it made us both walk away resolving that we need to make some time to visit our friends properly.  Obviously, there are those who aren't featured in the photo, or who weren't at the wedding and we hope that you know who you are, know how valued you are and let us come and visit soon! 

Whilst I don't regret the decision to move sometimes I do wish I could scoop up all my amazing friends and bring them here.  To be able to cushion myself in their friendship and love and care and know that if I just fancy a mooch in someone's garden, enjoying cake and wine because the sun is shining, that I will be very welcome!

Have you ever found making friends difficult?  

Do you find it difficult to make time to see old friends in the mix of life?

4 comments:

  1. This is me! I moved from Nottingham to Bristol when I left university. I left most of my good friends behind. We still catch up at least once or twice a year, and Facebook is good for keeping in touch. But I can so relate to being quiet, finding it hard to make friends. I've been down here about 6 years and I think I can just about say now that I have some friends here, although I don't think I am that close to anyone, but I have a lot of people her I can go out with or have a laugh with. It is hard to find the time, but I always try and make time, at least once a year I take a weekend off and go up and see them, or they come down here. True friends always stay in touch and like you say when you meet you just pick up where you left off. X

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  2. Oh Jess, I know how you feel! I left so many amazing people behind when moving to Canada - I miss them unbelievably. I don't struggle to make friends, but
    I do struggle to find opportunities to make friends!

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  3. I wish I could do that with my friends too - there's 6 of us that live round the world now, two of which live in Abu Dhabi and Sydney. Whatsapp is a fantastic thing but sometimes you just want them there all in one room.

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  4. Sally Sellwood8 July 2014 at 15:17

    Ah, Jess - I'm hearing you. Blogged about a similar topic myself the other day http://recipe-junkie.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/pomegranate-molasses-date-biscuits.html

    It'll come :-)

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